Hey, I Know… I’ll Go Get My Passport in Miami without an Appointment!

passport I was all excited. Really excited! Thinking about the trip I’d be taking to Trinidad in one week for business, and a little pleasure.

“All” I needed to get was that passport. Ah, no problem. How hard could that be? I’ll just go with my girlfriend in Miami to the passport office and take care of that real quick since I made an appointment and all right? WRONG!

I showed up to my “appointment” at 9:00 AM, early, just like I was told to do. Oops, they moved it out until Monday… But hey, no worries. They assured me I could get in line and get my passport done the same day. Okay, sounds good right? Look out, here comes government efficiency.

The things I witnessed from 9:00 AM until almost THREE O’CLOCK when I left would have been perfect for a reality TV show. There were drunk people. People raising hell and getting escorted out by special forces. Wait, not special forces… I’m describing the guards in terms that they seem to think they are. These were just guys with badges and big egos. They had the power to tell you to turn your cell phone off and surround you at the window if you raised your voice.—These guys were trained operators! (Maybe they were.)

We sat literally ALL day listening to mad people, grumpy guards, babies, kids… You name it. We couldn’t eat, we couldn’t drink. Nothing.

The one time I had to step outside and eat, an “officer” stopped me and said. You can’t leave that food there. Look jerk, I’m not leaving food anywhere… I’m eating it. Now go back in and bully some kids or something.

The experience was pretty horrible. Going to the U.S. passport office will actually make you want to leave the country. Oh well, I guess it’s done! See you all when I get back.


Ryan Hamner

4-time cancer survivor. Musician. Writer. Coffee Drinker.


  1. Reactive Hypoglycemia Cure July 30, 2015 at 9:55 pm - Reply

    Any government office is a total pain the butt. PERIOD!

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